Drive, baby, drive

This may come as a surprise to many people, but staying alive is actually quite easy.

Simply put, all you have to do is …well, you just need to have a tiiiiiny bit, a shred of common sense.

I’ve been stopped by the police twice.

The first time was due to a technical issue with my car. For whatever reason, the brake lights were staying on even after I took my foot off the pedal. So although I was driving normally, my brake lights were constantly on.

It was only a matter of time until I got stopped, of course. I got pulled over and my accent was certainly not helpful. Neither were my clothes. To give you the short version, I looked like some sort of hybrid, whatever you got if you crossbred a beggar and a homeless dude. There was a good reason for it (I was working weekends, so Mondays/Tuesdays were my days off; I’d wake up around 1 PM or so on a Monday; my wife called me and she asked me to go and get some medicine for our son – a toddler at the time). As such, I was half-asleep, dressed in a manner that made your local Fentanyl addict look like Versace to say the least. I’m pretty sure I had some vomit on my hoodie (hey, ever had a baby?). The car looked worse.

As such, the officer was … “more than cautious”. Chances are he thought I stole the car and I probably had no idea of how to drive it. It took a few minutes until the brake lights turned off, but before that, the man asked me to take the key out of the ignition, to hand over the key, to keep my hands on the side of the car etc. I did all of those things. Naturally, I knew I had done nothing wrong. My papers were “in order”, I hadn’t broken any law. But I understood that:

• he probably had to deal with many people like me, some of whom may be dangerous. Some of them may have even attacked him in the past. As such, it would be natural for him to be suspicious and very cautious when dealing with someone who … looked like me, someone who sounded like me.
• I’d be on my way in a few minutes anyway and, in the end, the bloke was just doing his job. I could very well have been a thief, I could’ve been a criminal…I didn’t exactly look like a “normal” person at the time.

The second time, I had fucked up. A police car had the right of way. I didn’t notice they had the right of way, I didn’t notice it was a police car, so I … cut them off. Yep, that’s stupid. Of course, one second later, when they activated the siren, I realized that I had been a dumb cunt. Oh, well, what can you do?

They pulled me over. I lowered the window and I could hear from his tone that he was quite angered. But I knew I was in the wrong there, so I did my best to avoid escalating it. I apologized – sincerely. I explained that it was dark, that I was tired as fuck and I hadn’t noticed those things, but again, I apologize, officer. It’s not that I was trying to weasel my way out of a ticket. I had already accepted the fact that I’d get some “points” and that my insurance would go up because of that. Tough luck – I had fucked up and there was no one else to blame. I wasn’t apologizing because I was hoping to get out of it. I was doing it because it took me less than a second to understand that I had been a dumb/blind cunt and I had fucked up.

To my surprise, after berating me for a few minutes, the officer simply told me to never do that again and to get the hell out of there – which I did. No ticket. No points. Nothing.

At the end of the day, all you need to do is … you need to understand that you’re not the worst person to be pulled over. You need to have a bit of EMPATHY. You need to understand that the dude who pulled you over has quite probably seen some serious shit. You need to understand that it’s quite likely that some junkie tried to run him over, stab him or shoot him. It’s in your best interest to not look like the kind of guy who’s going to try to do something similar. Because, at the end of the day, that officer just wants to go home as well.

But there’s always that someone. That someone who thinks they’re special. Rules don’t apply to them. Pull over? Nah, they’re not in the mood. Get out of the car? Nope. They’ll try to leave. They’ll try to run you over. From time to time, one of these people gets shot. Queue the leftard outrage: blahblah, he/she was a kind soul, they had a family, blahblah.

Brother, no one cares about whatever the fuck that person was doing in their spare time. THEY WERE SO FUCKING DUMB AND SO FUCKING RETARDED that they refused to follow SIMPLE instructions. They had zero empathy for that person in that uniform. They couldn’t care less. So they got killed. Boo fucking hoo. There’s your Darwin award – now get the fuck out of here.

No policeman EVER tackled me. None of them ever shot at me. None of them killed me. Do you know why? It’s because I never gave them a reason to do it. It’s because I try to put myself in their shoes, to think of what the situation must look like to them. When they ask me to do something, I do it, as long as it’s normal/legal. Stop the engine? Sure. Step out of the car? Alright. Keep your hands where I can see them? Here they are, bro. Do you have whatever in the car? Yes/no. I keep calm. I never had a problem. I always walked away. To be honest, I only got stopped “for no reason” (read: bribe) twice (both times in Eastern Europe; I’m sure that comes as a shock to everyone, but yeah, they will stop you there specifically to get a bribe; traditions, eh).

All you need is a shred of decency. A bit of common sense. A little bit of empathy. A little bit of education – and I don’t mean school, I mean the sort of stuff your father tells you, like “if you fucked up, don’t be a cunt; apologize and move on”.

But these days, those seem to be in short supply. Because a number of people (usually on the left, but there are some at the opposite end of the spectrum too) seem to think that yelling louder, screaming, acting up etc is the way to go about things. Oh, there’s an officer in front of your car? Try to run him over. Oh, he’s got a gun? Why don’t you just do your best to antagonize him? Oh, he’s doing his job? Well, do your best to interfere with that, because you disagree with it.

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN?

Then you’ve got some random people showing up to protest. “Blah blah, that guy wasn’t trained properly, he blah blah this and that, he was supposed to blah blah instead”. Yeah, maybe. But you know what, your “victim” wasn’t trained either. They had no idea of how to be a human being and not a just another cum stain on the planet, a disgrace to the species.

We’ve had this sort of thing before. And just about every single fucking time, when “the killer”/”the murderer” – as those leftards like to call him – walks away. See Kyle Ritten-whatever-his-name-was. Just about. Occasionally, one of them does get jailed because they fucked up too much. Sometimes, the city gets sued and has to pay – which is hilarious, when you think of it, because what that means is that everyone who lives there, everyone who wasn’t involved in the incident in any way gets to pay for it. Where do you think the money’s coming from? Hint: taxes. Go figure.

Of course, “the people” (read: about 0.5% of them, if even that) are “outraged”. They get out of their houses and they “protest”. My opinion? Fuck them, they’re retarded.

“Drive, baby, drive”. Well, she did, didn’t she? For about one second. Have fun in the afterlife, love – and rest assured no one’s going to miss you, you dumb cunt.