Most countries are 30 minutes away from being erased

This morning, the US showed Russia what a special military operation looks like. Never mind three days: the whole thing probably took under 3 hours.

Maduro was apparently dragged out of his palace, put on a ship, then on a plane and that was it, he was sent to the United States to stand trial for who the fuck cares what. I won’t focus on that.

But there are a few things I want to say about this whole Venezuela thing.

“Illegal” doesn’t mean a damn thing

Every media outlet I’ve seen mentioned that this was an “illegal” coup. An “illegal” invasion. I can’t even laugh at this bullshit anymore.

“Illegal”.

Oh, is it? Well, by all means, please do call the police. Or why not, just the district attorney or some other guy. Go for it, I’m sure they’ll just march to Washington DC and arrest everyone involved, won’t they?

“Illegal” matters if the law is stronger than the people doing whatever you deem to be illegal. If you’re in a position to stop them. To arrest them. To execute them, if need be.

If your “law” and whatever shitty organizations you’ve got in mind are powerless to stop those actions you deem to be “illegal”, then “illegal” doesn’t mean jack shit.

You know what’s illegal? Me breaking into my neighbour’s house. That’s illegal. It’s illegal because if you call the police, they’ll most likely come around and arrest me. I can’t stop them. There are too many of them, they’ve got weapons, they’ve got judges and prosecutors on their side and whatever else. That’s illegal. It’s illegal because I can’t fight it.

The US invading Venezuela or Putin invading Ukraine? Not so much. I mean, you can scream “illegal” until your tongue falls off, but if you’re not in a position to stop it, if nobody is in a position to stop it, then what is “illegal” even supposed to mean?

“OMG, but can’t you see, Trump just wants their oil”. Let’s just assume that that’s true. OK. So? What’s your point? What are you going to do about it? What, are you going to like and share some random shit nobody can be arsed to read? Or what?

…thought so.

No, the population won’t “rise up”

It’s fucking hilarious to see that bullshit.

As the US announced that they had captured Maduro and that he was on his way to the US, the VP of Venezuela and some of the ministers were quick to ask the population to “rise up” and “fight” against “imperialism”.

It’s like HAHAHA, YOU FUCKING WHAT, MATE???

Firstly, this guy – Maduro – was just another dictator. Who the fuck wants to fight to keep a dictator in power? Never mind that, but the dude was responsible for the illegal (lol) kidnapping and imprisonment of his own citizens – any dissenters were picked up in the middle of night and just … sent to jail. “Disappeared”, as it were. We’re talking about tens of thousands of people, his OWN people. Those people had families and friends. I’m not saying that in “let’s cry about it” fashion, but rather in a “you’ve alienated hundreds of thousands of people by doing that, you dipshit – and all of them want to see you DEAD, forget trial, jail etc” sort of way.

That’s the thing about dictators, they’re all fucking delusional. They all seem to think that “the people” “love” them. Brooo, your population has been starving – thanks to you, just to be clear. They’ve been hungry, cold and afraid for the better part of a decade – and that’s not counting the Chavez years. They literally wouldn’t lift a finger to save you.

Then there’s the “rise up!” moment. Like…what? Fight against the US? Uh, sure, with…? Like ok, let’s say the population really is that fucking stupid, let’s say they want to fight against the US carriers, choppers etc. What are they going to use? Fucking scissors or … ? Because that’s another thing about dictators: they always try to make sure that guns aren’t available to the general population. For their own safety, of course – nothing to do with fearing an uprising, you see…

I’ve seen the same fucking bullshit when “my” dictator was toppled, back in 89. I was just a child, but even I started laughing when he started moaning about foreign powers trying to invade our sacred land and asking “us” to stand up and fight for our country. Like haha, are you retarded, mate? The people had been cold, hungry and afraid for decades, you’ve jailed and killed countless of your countrymen just to cling to power and you think we’re going to “fight”? For YOU? Haha, wtf?

God bless whoever set up the 1989 coups in the former Eastern Bloc, for real. Yeah, we’ve had some shitty years to deal with, I spent most of my teenage years being hungry, but hey, I’ve got just about everything I need now. Do you know what my parents had? 200m long queues for rations. Sometimes they even managed to get something.

No, really, go anywhere in the Eastern Bloc and ask people if they miss the pre-1989 “era”. Other than some decrepit fucks and a few serial losers, everyone’s happy those days are gone.

Your country may not be Venezuela, but…

…but it’s still 30 minutes away from being erased.

Most countries exist simply because REAL countries allowed them to exist. In some cases, it’s because those countries don’t have a lot of natural resources. In other cases, it’s because those countries are merely buffer zones and it would caused too many headaches to simply delete them; North Korea is one fine example. It would be over in 30 minutes, but then you’d have China to deal with, because they see NK as their buffer zone.

But if your country has no real military, no nukes, no … well, you get the picture, then it’s 30 minutes away from being annexed. You can scream “illegal” all you like, it will do as much good as it did Maduro.

So, to me, it’s hilarious to read some random bullshit, like “The Spanish whatever minister had this to say about the invasion”. WHO. GIVES. A. FUCK. Go make me a coffee, minister – IF I decide to grace your country with my presence when I’m on holiday. Because I might pick Greece or Italy instead.

What the fuck is next, Liechtenstein’s take on the matter?